Giving Feedback with Grace and Wisdom
Devotional week 29
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." — Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
Words are like eggs, once they are broken, you cannot put them back together. That is why it matters how we speak, especially in tense situations.
When emotions are raw, it is tempting to speak quickly, harshly, or defensively. We may feel the urge to correct someone immediately or prove our point without thinking. But feedback given in anger often leaves behind damage that can’t be undone.
Giving feedback, especially when you are hurt is not easy. But the Bible reminds us that our words are meant to build up, not tear down. That doesn’t mean we have to stay silent or avoid difficult conversations. It just means we need to speak with wisdom, patience, and kindness.
Jesus modeled this beautifully. He didn’t avoid truth, and He never sugarcoated things. But even when correcting people, He did it with love. His words weren’t used to shame or crush, but to guide and restore. And that’s the kind of communicator we’re called to be.
Before we give feedback, it helps to pause and check our hearts. Are we truly aiming to help the other person grow, or are we just trying to be right? Are we reacting in frustration, or responding in grace?
Before You Speak: 4 Heart Checks
Pray first.
Invite God into your emotions and words. He sees what we don’t.
Examine your motive.
Is your goal to build up—or just to get something off your chest?
Speak firmly but kindly.
Strength and gentleness can walk hand in hand.
Release the outcome.
Whether or not the person changes, you can still walk away with peace.
Reflection Questions
Is there someone I need to speak to—but with more grace than I feel right now?
How can I prepare my heart before giving difficult feedback?
Prayer
Lord, thank You for the power of words. Help me use mine wisely. Teach me to speak the truth with humility and grace. Give me the courage to confront when necessary—but always with love. And fill me with Your peace, no matter how others respond. In Jesus’ name, Amen.