Receiving and Offering Feedback: A Humble and Wise Approach
If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. Proverbs 15:31-32 NLT
We constantly receive and give feedback. But how effectively can we handle such input, especially when it comes in the form of correction? And how well do we give feedback when we notice something wrong and want to assist those around us?
The verse in Proverbs tells us that those who know how to accept constructive criticism will be considered wise. It states that listening to corrections helps us grow in understanding. Although this might be easier said than done, especially since many people reject correction due to past experiences, the Bible teaches us how to use feedback wisely and appropriately as a tool for transformation and growth.
Let’s first explore how we can give feedback with love and grace to positively impact people’s lives.
Before providing feedback, take some time for self-reflection
As we read in Matthew 7.3: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” When we recognise our own tendency to make mistakes, we become more empathetic towards others, and our words can be spoken more gently and humbly.
Ensure you give feedback at the appropriate moment
"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:11. We need to learn to be guided by the Spirit in every situation and understand when it is the right time to point out mistakes. As many leaders and speakers acknowledge, it is better to correct someone in private, as this demonstrates consideration and makes them feel less vulnerable, allowing them to receive feedback more openly and respond positively.
Consider your reason for providing the feedback
It is vital to give feedback with love, and the Bible teaches us in Ephesians 4:29 that our words should always foster encouragement and uplift others. In this way, feedback can become a powerful tool for personal and spiritual development.
And how should we receive feedback?
Shift your mindset
Many of us have had negative experiences, which may cause us to avoid feedback and correction instead of using them for our benefit. However, if we understand that correction will help us grow and keep us on the right path, our response to feedback will change. Let us remember that God Himself teaches us in His word that He, as a loving father, corrects those He loves. Proverbs 3:12 and Hebrews 12.6.
Remain humble
Having a humble heart and a teachable spirit is the second important requirement for receiving feedback positively. Remember that the Bible states our hearts are deceitful and corrupt (Jeremiah 17:9), and that we find security in the counsel of the wise (Proverbs 11:14). So, let us stay humble and wise, accepting feedback as a gift from God.
To conclude, we want to mention the passage in Exodus 18 that demonstrates how to give and receive feedback with love, grace, and humility, and how this can positively influence our lives and those around us.
“The next day, Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people, and they stood around him from morning till evening. When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, “What is this you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning till evening?” Moses answered him, “Because the people come to me to seek God’s will. Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and instructions. Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you… Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said. He chose capable men from all Israel and made them leaders of the people, officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. They served as judges for the people at all times. The difficult cases they brought to Moses, but the simple ones they decided themselves.”
Pray
Dear God, we know you love us, and as a loving Father, you correct us so we do not stray from your will. Help us receive your correction and feedback with humility, so we can continue to grow and be transformed by you for our good and your glory. Please help us to be graceful and loving towards those around us, and grant us wisdom to use our feedback to motivate, encourage, and assist.
