Uncover the Profound Meaning of Philia: Love, Friendship, and Connection
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.” Jn 11:1–3
“Where have you laid him?”he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” Jn 11:34-36
This month you will get a series of devotionals where we will focus on four words of love in Greek. These are "storge" which is often seen as brotherly love, "philia" which lead in the direction of friendship, "eros" which is romantic love, and "agape" which is unconditional love or divine love.
In today's devotion, we focus on Philia, friendship. Philia (φιλια) represents a strong connection between individuals who share mutual interests or common life experiences. It refers to friendship between friends and companions.
In chapter 11 of the Gospel of John, we find the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. This is one of the most striking and powerful events recorded in the Gospels. In verse 11:11 Jesus uses a version of "philia" when he explains to his disciples that "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up." (NIV)
Later in the story we can observe several aspects that demonstrate the love and friendship between Jesus, Lazarus, and his sisters, Martha, and Mary.
Jesus had a close relationship with Lazarus' family, as evidenced by verse 5, where it is said that "Jesus loved Martha, his sister, and Lazarus." This love demonstrates a deep and affectionate connection between them.
When Lazarus becomes ill and dies, Jesus expresses deep emotion. He weeps for the death of Lazarus, even knowing that he will resurrect him (John 11:35). This act of Jesus shows his compassion and emotional bond with Lazarus and his family. Furthermore, Jesus demonstrates his friendship and commitment by deciding to go to Bethany to resurrect Lazarus, despite the dangers he would face. He shows a deep desire to be by his friends' side and comfort them in their time of mourning.
The events and emotions described in chapter 11 of John reveal a deep love, friendship, and connection between Jesus, Lazarus, Martha, and Mary.
Although Philia love refers to friends and companions, it fits perfectly well in marriage. A healthy and lasting relationship is built not only on passion (eros) but also on friendship (philia), where partners see themselves not only as lovers but also as close friends and life companions. I can say for myself, the relationship I have with my wife is very deep. Despite being different, our personalities are opposite, and some preferences are quite different, we have reached a point in our relationship where we have built a lasting and deep bond based on trust, mutual understanding, and emotional support.
As followers of Jesus, we are called to bring this philia love to our workplaces. Roman 12:10 gives good guidance. In this verse a form of philia is even used twice: "Love (philadelphia) each other with genuine affection (philadelphia), and take delight in honoring each other." (NIV)
Challenge
How can you cultivate genuine friendship both at work and privately, seeking to understand and support those around you?
Prayer
Lord, grant us the grace to nurture relationships based on true friendship. May we learn from philia love to extend fraternal hands and attentive ears to our brothers and sisters. May your light guide our steps in building strong and affectionate bonds. Amen.
Paulo Ribeiro